Beginning Again

It’s been nearly three months since I aired my plus-size laundry in public, sharing plans to finally lick my two-decades-long weight loss struggle. I promised to check-in after a couple of months or after the first 15-pound weight loss.

The months? Check. The weight loss? Not so much.

I was encouraged for a while, buoyed by the freedom of publicly acknowledging my struggle. I was blown away by the heartfelt messages of support (Thanks to all of you). Then, partly because of the public acknowledgment and the heartfelt messages, I panicked. And soon, I was back to my old ways. In the March post, I confessed to being a few Blizzards and Chinese buffets away from 300 pounds. When I weighed in for the weight loss challenge at work on the morning of May 10, it would be more accurate to say that I was a couple of Tic Tacs away.

So, I borrowed a trusted lesson from my meditation practice: I began again. In other words, I exercised the prerogative that you never outgrow and gave myself a do-over. It’s been only two weeks, but I feel like I’m on my way.

Some steps in that direction:
1. I entered the aforementioned weight loss challenge at work, on a team with three female colleagues. Highest team weight loss percentage wins the contest, which runs from May 10 to Aug. 9. There are prizes, but we’re in it for the motivation. (OK, and the glory.)
2. I got a physical exam, even though I knew there would be a scale and needles involved.
3. I’m eating better. More vegetables, fruits, lean protein, whole grains and good fats. Less bad fat and cholesterol (see #2), white flour, sugar and preservatives. I’m not weighing and measuring, or counting calories. Just aiming for generally healthy meals, and moderation when they’re not.
4. I’m treating my night eating issue like the addiction it’s become – remaining ever vigilant and taking one day at a time.
5. I joined a gym – one that I have to drive by on the way home from work – and am shooting for five workouts a week.
6. I signed up with a trainer who will work with me two times a week and direct the remaining three workouts. I’m hoping that the small fortune I invested will help keep me motivated.
7. I’ve recommitted to a regular meditation practice for several reasons, including the fact that I want a fighting chance at numbers 1 through 6.

So, I’m getting busy with the business of beginning again. I’ll check back soon after the Aug. 9 end to the weight loss challenge. I’m hoping for the best for me – and for the trainer, who I’ll call “Jackie” in honor of the beloved Jack LaLanne. I’m changing her name in the likely event that I’ll want to say mean things about her in the future.

An actual portion of our first meeting, as I detailed the 11 p.m. snacking habit I’ve been battling:
Jackie: “What are you doing up at 11 p.m.?”
Me: “I’m eating.”

It looks like she’ll have to earn every cent of that small fortune.